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Why does nothing ever go Robert Downey, Jr.'s way on the West Coast? When he's not playing a strung-out indentured hustler in Less Than Zero, he's suffering the indignities of HUAC chivvying as Chaplin. In Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, a postmodern pretzel of a murder mystery, Downey's fortunes are even bleaker, but that hardly matters since Shane Black's cleverest script is also his funniest. Val Kilmer as a puffy gay detective on every kind of make, and Michelle Monaghan as the unimprovably named moll Harmony Faith Lane, help hurtle Raymond Chandler into the 21st century with a self-consciousness that just couldn't work in print. At the very least you'll get a grammar refresher on adjective/adverb usage and a fair sense of how long a thumb can stay viable unattached from a hand. -- MW

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BOOKS:

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, by Haruki Murakami {A Japanese detective story/war novel/Kafka rip-off. It's great.}

Love, Poverty, and War: Journeys and Essays, by Christopher Hitchens {First drafts of history, second thoughts on received wisdom, versatile meditations on great works of literature -- all by a man who can write about anything.}

The Code of the Woosters, by P.G. Wodehouse {The Rise and Fall of the "Black Shorts," and the best of Bertie and Jeeves. You'll need Wodehouse in your life eventually. Start here; you've 89 or so more to go.}

The Prophet Armed: Trotsky 1879-1921, by Isaac Deutscher {Magnificient biography finally back in print, along with Volumes II and III. But better start before the revolution -- and Deutscher's conscience -- was betrayed.}

Satan: His Psychotherapy and Cure by the Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.S.P.S., by Jeremy Leven {A sorely forgotten modern classic. Leven has since swapped the galley for the camera, directing such keepers as Don Juan Demarco and The Legend of Bagger Vance. Satan has relapsed.}

Colossus, by Niall Ferguson {Why the U.S. can't hack neo-imperialism, much to Niall's chagrin.}

Reflections on a Ravaged Century, by Robert Conquest {Don't even try to have an opinion about the twentieth century without reading him.}

Scoop, by Evelyn Waugh {One of the funniest books, ever. Shrinks the remainder of the "innocent abroad" genre to the vanishing point.}

Put Out More Flags, by Evelyn Waugh {Lapidary prose on the frisson between the wars. Basil Seal riding low before he rides again; Auden and Isherwood lampooned as "Parnsip and Pimpernell."}

The Complete Stories of Evelyn Waugh, by E.W. {Nasty, brutish and short, in short form.}

The Origins of Postmodernity, by Perry Anderson {Terrific writer from the London Review of Books and New Left Review, who ought to be more famous than he is, tackles lucidly the abstruse bloodhound gang -- from Habermas to Jameson -- of Theory.}

Saul Bellow: Novels 1944-1953: Dangling Man, The Victim, and The Adventures of Augie March, [Library of Congress Hardcover Edition] {Look: it's his world, we all just live in it.}

The Counterlife, by Philip Roth {How Portnoy learned to stop complaining and write a brilliant postmodern novel.}

Rise of the Vulcans, by James Mann {Probably the only low-blood pressure source on Bush's brain trust. Valuable for charting the progression of neo-neo-conservatism, and how Cheney and Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz contravened, and then dismantled, the Kissinger realpolitik foreign policy machine.}

Money, by Martin Amis {Forget Bonfire and Psycho. It took the English author of The Moronic Inferno: And Other Visits to America to effectively chew up the Reagan era -- largely by reminding us that it was also the Thatcher era. A fine lesson in history repeating, too: Di and Charles were TV's original Ben and J. Lo; the Self-on-Massi sex tape is where Paris (if she can read) might have learned her stuff; and the cavalier cash flow in this soft-boiled checkbook who-dun-it tale rivals that of any West Coast dotcom monkey a decade later.}

The War Against Cliche and Experience, by Martin Amis {If Amis kept on doing what he did in his award-winning collection of critical essays, James Wood would lose more hair. It's saying quite a lot that his non-fiction exceeds his fiction. Experience is by far the best memoir to appear in the last decade: a more muscular Speak, Memory, it's a midlife nostalgia trip pureed out of chronology, though somehow more cohesive than a stream-of-consciousness hodgepodge. Guaranteed to pluck at the coronary sinews for anyone dealing with the loss of a father.}

Lucky Jim, by Kingsley Amis {A comic genius on academia, Amis is the pitch-perfect representative of postwar male rage. None of that Angry Young Man, stuff, though. His apoplexy is hilarious at any age. The faces: "crazy peasant," "sex life in ancient Rome," "shot-in-the-back." Moo, by Jane Smiley, The Straight Man, by Richard Russo and everything by David Lodge seem impossible without this Platonic key ring to rule them all, and on the campus, bind them.}

The Letters of Kingsley Amis, edited by Zachary Leader {Pay close attention to the letters to Philip Larkin -- together with Larkin's Collected Letters (try eBay, sorry), these constitute the documentation of one of the most rewarding and hilarious literary friendships to date. Amuse yourself by guessing the exact page number where Kingsley abandons Communism.}

The Stories of Vladimir Nabokov, by V. Nabokov {I'm way underqualified, with my mean years on the planet, to state critical opinion. Still in larval adulation, which I understand is a longterm afflication. Read Anthony Lane's review in Nobody's Perfect. And M. Amis on Nabokov in toto in the prenominate War Against Cliche. And get a dictionary.}

The Moral Obligation to Be Intelligent, edited by Leon Wieseltier {The style is dated and stilted, but the insights are not. Especially worthwhile: the Orwell essay, the Mansfield Park burn, and "The Situation of the American Intellectual at the Present Time" (i.e. "What Do They Know of America, Who Only the Upper West Side Know?"}

The Irresponsible Self: On Laughter and the Novel, by James Wood {The bling to Dale Peck's blah.}

A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again, by David Foster Wallace {Self-indulgence and the consequences of a missing-in-action editor never had it so good. The state fair, cruise ship and TV pieces are the best. But also read the Lynch essay: it'll make you want to re-watch Blue Velvet, which you can conveniently buy below.}

Collected Poems, by Philip Larkin (edited by Anthony Thwaite) {Poetus mirabilis and, after Auden, the occupant of a near empty Hall of Metrical Wonders in the Postwar Anglophone wing of the museum. Master ironist and curmudgeon you least want to bludgeon.}

Paris 1919: Six Months That Changed the World, by Margaret Macmillan {A dryly told account of global dust-settling after what was then myopically known as "the Great War." Explores the follies of Wilson, Lloyd George and Clemenceau, which helped bring about WWII.}

Doomed, Bourgeois, In Love: Essays on the Films of Whit Stillman, edited by Mark Henrie {Discreet charms of the bourgeoisie given the scholarly treatment by the kinds of New Criterion-y people who liked Grosse Pointe Blank because John Cusack's assassin refused to unionize. Don't let the pedantry taint your judgment of Stillmania, though.}

Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books, by Azar Nafisi {A beautiful paean to Western literature from an Eastern scholar living under Islamic statism; the Gatsby trial and Jane Austen dance chapters are particularly enjoyable.}

The Persian Mirror: The Elusive Face of Iran, by Elaine Sciolino {For those with short odds on the next war of choice.}

Nobody's Perfect: Writings from The New Yorker, by Anthony Lane {He needs to stop it with the creepy drooling over Natalie Portman, but Lane is still the best around for losing it at the movies.}

The Collected Short Stories of Roald Dahl {Adult stories, less like his childrens stuff than what O. Henry would have been like if his ironic plot twists had involved wife-swapping, cannibalism, or turning infants into superhuman bee-monsters. Might be fun for the kid who never reads, actually.}

The Chicago Manual of Style, by the University of Chicago Press Staff {and the ghost of Allan Bloom.}

The Brothers Karamazov, by F. Dostoevsky, translated by Pevear and Volokhonsky {Incest! Murder! Theodicy!}

Collected Non-Fictions, by Jorge Luis Borges {A prose impresario short-winded enough to keep beside the toilet -- especially if your john is in a labrynith that transcends spacetime.}

Love and Hydrogen: New and Selected Stories, by John Shepard {Stories narrated by John Ashcroft, John Entwistle, Nazi rocket riders, the creature from the black lagoon, and others.}

My Life and Hard Times, by James Thurber {Think of David Sedaris, in turn of the century Columbus, Ohio. And without the gay schtick, or even a pretense at respect for his family.}

ALBUMS:

You Are the Quarry, by Morrissey {He's back! And almost paid off the deficit incurred by Maladjusted. A few gripes: "America Is Not the World" never fulfills the promise of its title. It's an unwieldy blunderbuss, not a rapier -- and the use of "hamburger" as synecdoche for our national obesity problem is a new hackneyed low for the Oscar Wilde of the microphone. "I Have Forgiven Jesus" ultimately works, but I can't help but feel that that one was just too easy.}

Weightlifting, by The Trashcan Sinatras {Remember them from your college radio daze? A brisk homecoming track, appositely named "Welcome Back" ("Everyone survived / Everyone's alive!" -- well, thank goodness) kicks off this highly accomplished return to musicmaking for an alt-pop band that shouldn't have stayed away so long.}

Strange Bird, by Augie March {With a name like Augie, it has to be good. It is. Analogs fail me.}

Evergreen, by Echo and the Bunnymen {Best 80's Band Comeback Album. No contest.}

Mermaid Avenue, by Billy Bragg and Wilco {A fucking classic. Ukanian bloke Billy Bragg manages to capture the rhythms of dustbowl Americana better than Dylan -- the obvious disciple/witch doctor to perform a Woody Guthrie resurrection -- ever could do. All lyrics by Guthrie, music by Bragg and Wilco.}

Don't Try This at Home, by Billy Bragg {Most people who hear Mermaid Avenue invariably want more of the man who brought it to them. This is Bragg's most "accessible" solo album, though not without the politics that's defined his career. "Accident Waiting to Happen" is a punk snarl against cultural fascism.}

Galore, by Kirsty MacColl {May this earth angel charm the knickers off the winged principalities. MacColl died a few years ago in a boating accident, but I can only imagine how well-attended her funeral must have been by the panoply of musicians guilty of "sampling" her Celtic nightingale voice. This album consists mainly of covers, but that's more than all right for someone generous enough to never ask for top billing, despite consistently stealing the show.}

These Are the Vistas, by the Bad Plus {"Smells Like Teen Spirit," the jazz standard. No kidding. Comes off not just better than you'd expect, but brilliantly.}

SMiLE, by Brian Wilson {Reviewed here. Check to the right.}

The Soft Bulletin, by the Flaming Lips {And the hard singing voice to take, but worth it anyway.}

It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back, by Public Enemy {More complicated rhymes and denser loops than have been on the radio before or sense, plus the guy with the big clock.}

Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?, by the Unicorns {Morbid, tinny, wildly innovative and beautiful.}

Loaded: Fully Loaded Edition, by the Velvet Underground {Funny, Lou Reed doesn't usually look this happy. Must be Laurie Anderson's doing.}

Traitor In Our Midst, by the Country Gazette {What you always thought bluegrass was supposed to sound like.}

The Modern Lovers, by the Modern Lovers {Speaking of Lou Reed, remember the guy with the guitar who gets shot in Something About Mary? Imagine that guy redoing "White Light/White Heat," but with lyrics about aging with dignity and eschewing drugs. That sounds like a snark, but its actually the SAM guy, and John Cale produced.}

The Queen Is Dead, by The Smiths {I can't believe you don't own this already. The summa of the Moz/Marr collaboration.}

The Boatman's Call, by Nick Cave {The Prince of Darkness may have been afraid to board a plane after 9/11, but this "New Testament" sound is proof of moisture's sustainability in Hell. "Into My Arms" is sweet enough to play your girlfriend on Valentine's Day, leaving the oldie-but-dreary "Deanna" to blast at her when she dumps you.}

No Cities Left, by The Dears {The lead singer cried when Morrissey asked the band to open on the "You Are the Quarry" tour. That kind of gone-to-pieces sentimentalism can only lead one place: straight down. Get 'em while they're new and good.}

The Boy With the Arab Strap, by Belle and Sebastian {Might as well order that black V-neck sweater, Rimbaud's Collected Poems, while you're at it. "Theoretical" bisexuality not a requisite, despite what angry twee detractors say.}

FILMS & TV:

Cannibal! The Musical. {Trey Parker's college thesis, a feature-length movie musical about the only American ever convicted of cannibalism. Not for all markets, but better than most of his later stuff.}

Before Sunset, directed by Richard Linklater {The sequel that doesn't feel like one. Why thirtysomethings who chat are more interesting than twentysomethings who do likewise. Some sluggish moments, but all made up for by a luminous final scene that made me fall in love with Julie Delpy once more. Bet it made Anthony Lane "spill [his] Sprite" again, too.}

Collateral, directed by Michael Mann {Tom Cruise has always been a hard-working, as opposed to naturally gifted, actor. This part was his pension come early. Michael Mann is the Richard Avedon of the moving Los Angeles image. And Jamie Foxx ain't too shabby, either.}

The Unbelievable Truth, directed by Hal Hartley {Surreal-ish debut from a master indy filmmaker and satirist. Yes, that is Edie Falco as the diner waitress.}

Henry Fool, directed by Hal Hartley {Hartley's masterpiece. Probably the only movie about writers that's ever worked. Barton Fink, anyone?}

Metropolitan, directed by Whit Stillman {Downwardly mobile 60's college jet set. Making a film about this demographic is like trying to play matchmaker to a Republican leper in Northampton, Mass. That the dialogue (and it's all dialogue) stays liquid-tongued is a monument to Stillman's talent... dare I say, genius?}

Barcelona, directed by Whit Stillman {Anti-Americanism when it was more funny than scary. The "subtext" speech belongs in Bartlett's. The DVD commentary is, as someone from the earlier film might say, "priceless."}

The Last Days of Disco, directed by Whit Stillman {An assault on 70's cliche in the best possible way -- the anti-54. Also known as Yuppies: A Defense. Chloe Sevigny gives grace to the one night stand, instead of head to Vincent Gallo.}

Mr. Jealousy, directed by Noah Baumbach {Who wouldn't hunt down the ex-boyfriends of Annabella Sciorra? Eric Stoltz had fewer difficulties with girls in Mask. Chris Eigeman from the Stillman flicks swaps Mayflower pedigree for facial hair (modeled on David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest jacket photo), to varying degrees of success. An underrated romantic comedy, but don't say I didn't warn you: this film may engender awkward relationship conversation. It may also plant supersleuth-stalker seeds in frail men's heads. Or so I've heard.}

Blue Velvet, directed by David Lynch {So many epigones, so far from this mark.}

Father Ted: The Holy Trinity {BBC TV series about three priests on an island. No, not that kind of series, you sick fuck.}

The Office - The Complete Collection (First And Second Series Plus Special) {Creator, writer, director and star Rick Gervais used to manage Suede and now this. That's enough laurels for one lifetime. He can die now.}

Arrested Development - Season One {To think that Teen Wolf Too was just a glimpse of Jason Bateman's potential.}

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On McCain's Foreign Policy

It's taken me a while to get to this, but at the risk of another protracted debate with someone who already owes me $100, here goes:

"According to McCain, all the doctrinally and politically disparate Islamic terrorist groups, non-violent Islamism, the Iraqi insurgency, Iran, conventional middle Eastern autocracies, and even Russia and the confederation of states allied with it, are alternative representations of a single foreign policy problem. That problem, which McCain dubs "the transcendent challenge of our time," amounts to a contest of sheer will between the US and its loyal allies on one side, its enemies, the rest of the world, on the other. McCain recognizes neither distinctions among distinct individuals and groups with distinct histories and agendas, nor does he pay the slightest heed to weighing the goals and potential benefits of any foreign policy against its political and economic costs. The right policy is simply the one jibes best with McCain's sense of honor, which, in practice, always turns out to be war. McCain's alternative to Realpolitik is Bushido."

I suspect what happened was this: Daniel came up with the term "Bushido" first. He thought it was very clever, which it is -- worthy of David Axelrod himself. But in looking to apply it relevantly to McCain, he has either willfully or unintentionally misread an important foreign policy speech and rendered it lower than a caricature, which at least bears some resemblance to the filigreed original.

The claim that McCain looks beyond the borders of the United States and sees only a single, amorphous entity with the same history and "agenda" is patently absurd. He talks of eradicating malaria and HIV in Africa, adopting free trade agreements with countries in South America, fostering market development in Asia, and disciplining "pariah states" such as Sudan, Zimbabwe and Burma. Such diversity of aims, albeit only limned in the context of a campaign speech, cannot be boiled down to Daniel's imaginative paraphrase.

Above we're told that McCain's "transcendent challenge of our time" is a single foreign policy problem represented by "Islamic terrorist groups, non-violent Islamism, the Iraqi insurgency, Iran, conventional middle Eastern autocracies, and even Russia and the confederation of states allied with it."

Curious, then, that Russia is mentioned only with respect to the G-8 and McCain's proposed League of Democracies as a "revanchist" nation (which it is) that poses a challenge (not the "transcendent" one) that both the U.S. and Europe must once again face united. Vladimir Putin has more or less said the same thing, except he draws comparisons to the Third Reich in coloring the behavior of Russia's erstwhile ally during World War II (I mean the one before the Third Reich itself.) Nowhere is Moscow's bad behavior tethered to a clash of civilizations thesis; it is treated separately and distinctly as a foreign policy problem in itself. As for conventional Middle Eastern autocracies, McCain mentions these in light of failed strategies of the past (propping up the Shah, Saddam) and observes that such former client states served as insufficient stop-gaps on Islamic terrorism. They could no more provide lasting stability to the region than a renascent caliphate would do: "The oppression of the autocrats blended with the radical Islamists' dogmatic theology to produce a perfect storm of intolerance and hatred." This is one way to define the post-9/11 conventional wisdom, which everyone from Juan Cole to Paul Wolfowitz shares. One seeks in vain here for the encoded call for permanent regime change:

"We must not act rashly or demand change overnight. But neither can we pretend the status quo is sustainable, stable, or in our interests. Change is occurring whether we want it or not. The only question for us is whether we shape this change in ways that benefit humanity or let our enemies seize it for their hateful purposes. We must help expand the power and reach of freedom, using all our many strengths as a free people. This is not just idealism. It is the truest kind of realism. It is the democracies of the world that will provide the pillars upon which we can and must build an enduring peace."

Daniel also elides McCain's specific and clear definition of the "transcendent" challenge:

"Radical Islamic terrorism," McCain argues, presents a "transcendent" challenge because it is "unique." But this is silly. No one problem in foreign policy is exactly alike any other. They are all unique. The uniqueness of Islamic terrorists, according to McCain, consists in their desire to acquire nuclear weapons and use them against the US and its allies. That's hardly a transcendent quality of terrorists."

Here is what McCain actually says:

"[The assembly of a global coalition of peace and freedom] will strengthen us to confront the threat of radical Islamic terrorism. This challenge is transcendent not because it is the only one we face. There are many dangers in today's world, and our foreign policy must be agile and effective at dealing with all of them. But the threat posed by the terrorists is unique. They alone devote all their energies and indeed their very lives to murdering innocent men, women, and children. They alone seek nuclear weapons and other tools of mass destruction not to defend themselves or to enhance their prestige or to give them a stronger hand in world affairs but to use against us wherever and whenever they can."

Is it not clear from this that by "unique" McCain was qualifying the challenge, not defining it? He does define it a moment later when he says that the enemy we face devotes itself to killing innocent men, women and children, and pursuing nuclear weapons not for the sake of deterrence or geopolitical brinkmanship but for nihilistic use against us. Not only does this not satisfy Daniel as being extraordinary from, say, gibbering to Hugo Chavez about oil prices, but it, too, is a fanciful construct cooked up in some feverish corner of the American Enterprise Institute:

"Presumably, ceteris paribus, any extreme armed faction would desire to have nuclear weapons. That doesn't mean an outfit like Hamas or the Muslim Brotherhood, or even, yes, al Qaeda, is in any sort of position to divert their scarce resources to an astronomically expensive project like nuclearization. (How, incidentally, would a terrorist group use a nuclear weapon if they had one? The capacity to build and launch nuclear-armed missiles requires an infrastructure far beyond anything any non-state actor possesses.)"

A short time ago, there was a global panic over the political chaos in Pakistan and the very real possibility that Pervez Musharraf's successor would be a radical Islamist regime (my own cutesy formulation for this: "going from Islambad to worse"). Had that happened, we would now be confronting the spectacle of Daniel Pearl's beheaders being able to split the atom. Shall we inquire as to how they might use their newfound technology, or why? The Taliban came perilously close to obtaining the bomb, courtesy of its sympathizers in the Pakistan scientific community, one prominent member of which, A.Q. Khan, was caught smuggling lethal know-how to Libya (whose advanced program we were unaware of until Gaddafi announced and relinquished it), North Korea and Iran. Iran's Quds Brigade of its Revolutionary Guard has been designated by Congress a terrorist organization because it is suborning the insurgency in Iraq and killing Americans there: that makes one state actor in desire of nuclear weapons also a non-state actor by traditional standards. As for the prohibitive difficulties in building and detonating a nuke, since when must one be attached to an intercontinental missile? The "dirty bomb" scenario doesn't exist solely in Jack Bauer's mind.

It is disingenuous to accuse McCain of dividing the world into "two intractably opposed camps." The analogy to the Cold War here actually tells against this facile calculus, as during that fifty year conflict, there was a third camp of "non-aligned" or neutral players. There were also countries that took a little from Column A and a little from Column B, such as India. McCain allows plenty of wiggle room for nations that would, under the kind of Manicheanism Daniel envisions, be unthinkable.

For instance, we would all agree, I hope, that China is a handmaiden to radical Islam in the form of the janjaweed genocidaires of Sudan. Yet here is how McCain rattles his saber before that economic and military superpower and Olympic host everyone on the left and right is now calling to boycott: "China and the United States are not destined to be adversaries. We have numerous overlapping interests and hope to see our relationship evolve in a manner that benefits both countries and, in turn, the Asia-Pacific region and the world. But until China moves toward political liberalization, our relationship will be based on periodically shared interests rather than the bedrock of shared values."

Sounds almost like an Obama line, doesn't it?

I could go on. I will, in fact: "McCain's only concrete proposal for reincorporating the US into an international system is to circumvent the UN, the EU, the G-8, and NATO, by creating a "League of Democracies" consisting in the G-8 countries excluding Russia but including India and Brazil."

McCain explicitly endorses a "successor to the Kyoto Treaty, a cap-and-trade system that delivers the necessary environmental impact in an economically responsible manner," so he is self-evidently not that limited in "reincorporating the US into an international system." What strange Zen koans yield such green, multilateral wisdom from the paladin of Bushido.

And Daniel's description of the League of Democracies suffers from an interpretative fallacy; namely, that by advocating the creation of another supranational body McCain seeks to "circumvent" a host of pre-existing ones. I'll leave it up to others to determine how the United States each and every day circumvents the EU, or how that body's currency policies have anything at all to do with the UN, which didn't bat an eye at Russia and China's "strategic partnership." Suffice to say, in Article 1 of NATO's charter, it is established that members must "refrain in their international relations from the threat or use of force in any manner inconsistent with the purposes of the United Nations." Why couldn't McCain's brainchild do the same, without the outmoded constraints of cold war enlistment procedures?

What I gather McCain means by a League of Democracies is a variation on the "Anglosphere" idea, or a formal alliance of natural allies, bound to one another by a common law-and-liberty tradition, mutual economic and cultural interests, and, perhaps most important, a shared language. McCain is much less conservative and much more prescient in his willingness to expand this alternative compact to include non-English-speaking nations like Brazil; any, in fact, that would meet requirements I'm inclined to think are less prohibitive than those of Maastricht. The terms of the compact needn't violate any of the others currently on the books and to which we are a party (as Daniel points out, McCain is rather a stickler for the Geneva Conventions and other international accords). It would be premature to judge too harshly of McCain's proposition without his further exposition of it.

Daniel ends by depicting McCain as a warmongering triumphalist drunk on such antiquated concepts as "honor" and "piety." (Piety has gotten Barack Obama into more trouble of late, so I'll chalk that up to projection.)

Now it is true that the candidate hails from a Kiplinesque line of naval officers, and he can grow sentimental -- "soppy-stern" is Philip Larkin's unimprovable phrase -- in an unflattering, 19th century manner about the role of a powerful military in any great nation. (I've taken issue with McCain's worship of Teddy Roosevelt; see here. Though it's worth noting that the only presidents he cites in this speech are Democrats -- Truman and JFK.) However, the man who went up against the Clinton administration in 1993 and argued for a complete withdrawal of American forces from Somalia is hardly a "fight first, ask questions later" type jingoist. Daniel reduces all of McCain's reasons for opposing a troop withdrawal from Iraq to this closing peroration: "It would be an unconscionable act of betrayal, a stain on our character as a great nation, if we were to walk away from the Iraqi people and consign them to the horrendous violence, ethnic cleansing, and possibly genocide that would follow a reckless, irresponsible, and premature withdrawal."

Daniel's only reply to the serious question of a genocide is to say, well, we shouldn't have been there in the first place. Excellent. He's fashioned a cogent, partial case against John McCain's presidential candidacy -- in 2003. As for the reality of 2008, you can argue with the dire prognostications offered below, but you will admit there is nothing weepy or "lest we forget" about any of them:

"If we withdraw prematurely from Iraq, al Qaeda in Iraq will survive, proclaim victory and continue to provoke sectarian tensions that, while they have been subdued by the success of the surge, still exist, as various factions of Sunni and Shi'a have yet to move beyond their ancient hatreds, and are ripe for provocation by al Qaeda. Civil war in Iraq could easily descend into genocide, and destabilize the entire region as neighboring powers come to the aid of their favored factions. I believe a reckless and premature withdrawal would be a terrible defeat for our security interests and our values. Iran will also view our premature withdrawal as a victory, and the biggest state supporter of terrorists, a country with nuclear ambitions and a stated desire to destroy the State of Israel, will see its influence in the Middle East grow significantly. These consequences of our defeat would threaten us for years, and those who argue for it, as both Democratic candidates do, are arguing for a course that would eventually draw us into a wider and more difficult war that would entail far greater dangers and sacrifices than we have suffered to date."

Part and parcel of Barack Obama's "dignity doctrine," so nebulously yet exultantly captured by Spencer Ackerman in the American Prospect, is the complete annihilation of Al Qaeda. How is this to be done when Al Qaeda still persists in Iraq, but we do not?

Getting beyond the "Iraq War mindset" can be headache-inducing indeed. Obama fired Samantha Power not for calling Hillary Clinton a "monster" but for hinting at the likelihood that he might come to a similar determination as McCain has done and foreclose on the promise of immediate troop withdrawal. He has also chided McCain for being correct about the pragmatic, murderous collusion between Sunni and Shia sectarians. (See the Pentagon's latest disclosures about the promiscuous prewar activities of Saddam Hussein, or Amir Taheri's excellent precis of the "Sunni-Shiite Terror Network" in the Wall Street Journal.)

There is also the next question of how, exactly, to withdraw from Iraq so as to incur the lowest number of military and civilian losses. I've not heard either Democratic candidate address this. For a glimpse into what a horror show our getting out will look like, I direct you to this well-reported piece by Kim Nash. By adopting the most prudent measures of extracting personnel and materiel, an exit strategy, Nash concludes, will take two years. Contrast this against legislation Obama introduced in January 2007 that would have removed all combat troops by March 2008 -- last month. The politics of fear, meet the travel agency of hope.

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By Michael Weiss {Everyone's wrong about the president's new war plan, originally published in Jewcy.}

A Kibitz on Pure Reason
By Michael Weiss {The author of Betraying Spinoza on rationalism, passion, and great 17th-century hair, originally published in Jewcy.}

Brainwashing's Nemesis
By Michael Weiss {How Rick Ross became a cult buster extraordinaire, originally published in Jewcy.}

The Whiz Kid of Warfare
By Michael Weiss {How Noah Shachtman has revolutionized military reporting, originally published in Jewcy.}

A Blacklist The Left Could Use
By Michael Weiss {Meet the Christopher Hitchens of postpunk, originally published in Jewcy.}

Is Marriage the New Dating?
By Michael Weiss {A divorcee, a young married, and a singleton debate wedded bliss, originally published in Jewcy.}

The Jewish Jihad for Jesus
By Michael Weiss {Why converts are leading the evangelical movement, originally published in Jewcy.}

Tribal Threads
By Michael Weiss {The designer of Gytha Mander on the holy land, holsters, and honeys, originally published in Jewcy.}

Some Kind of Republican
By Michael Weiss {The real legacy of John Hughes, published in Slate.}

Moochers of the World, Unite!
By Michael Weiss {The true genius of Entourage, published in Slate.}

Imagining Conservatism
By Noah Joshua Phillips {George Will's nostalgic conservatism debunked.}

Servicing Stalin
By Michael Weiss {Robert Service's lousy biography of the ogre of the East.}

If Children Don't Understand Evolution, Maybe It's Because We Don't Teach Them Science
By Nic Duquette {False mental categories and primary assumptions in the Intelligence Design debate, naturally deselected.}

Affirmative Conservatives
By Nic Duquette {The ivory tower kulturkampf version of corporate welfare.}

Affirmative Conservatives II: David Horowitz and "Academic Freedom"
By Michael Weiss {Bias doesn't end at the quadrangles, and why this isn't such a bad thing.}

What's Your Blog Worth?
By Nic Duquette {The essay that launched a thousand trackbacks, and made DailyKos lie about his income.}

It's The Stupidity, Economists: The Debate Over Social Security
By Nic Duquette {Paul Krugman gets it wrong, but fortunately his shrillness doesn't suffer.}

Will China Buy GM?
By Nic Duquette {Weighing the possibilities of the great rev forward.}

The Less Deceived: John Kerry and the Postwar Tragedy of Vietnam
By Michael Weiss {Election cycle dress-blues.}

When Philosophers Collide: Matthew Stewart's The Courtier and the Heretic
By Michael Weiss {Another felicitous installment in the meet-profound genre.}

YBRET: Lunar Park Reviewed
By Michael Weiss {Bret Easton Ellis can't write, and wants to prove it to you. Again.}

Freaky Deaky: A Rogue Economist Has Fun, And So Do We... Up To A Point
By Max Gross {Freakanomics, or It's Not a Crack House, It's a Crack LLC.}

The Schiavo-esque Death of the Novel
By Nic Duquette {Why is our nation unread?}

A Beautiful Mind: Rebecca Goldstein's Goedel
By Michael Weiss {Incompleteness made simple.}

Yawn: Malcolm Gladwell's Just-Okay Bestseller
By Michael Weiss {Use your intuition to turn a fun 5-page magazine article into a 200-page book with covers and everything.}

A Tiny Receptacle for a Thrilling Tale: Michael Chabon Reins Himself In and, Finally, Delivers What He's Promised
By Nic Duquette {What he said.}

Magic for Grown-Ups: Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrel
By Nic Duquette {Highbrow Harry Potter.}

Comical Chic: David Sedaris Still Has It
By Nic Duquette {The pleasures of Dress Your Family In Denim and Courduroy.}

Sex, Highs, and Videotape: Havoc: The Unrated Version
By Michael Weiss {Anne Hathaway redeems all schlock, especially with no shirt on.}

Who's Your Huckleberry?: Tombstone as an American Classic Western
By Michael Weiss {Val Kilmer robbed of an Oscar.}

Evil Will Always Win Because Good Is Dumb: Episode III
By Michael Weiss {Darth Vader rises in the search for more money.}

Peer Review: The Aristocrats, In Theory and Practice
By Michael Weiss {You'd rather wait for Godot than the punchline, but that's the point.}

Larry & Anna & Dan & Alice: Closer, But No Cigar
By Michael Weiss {Mike Nichols' swing and a miss.}

In The Gloaming: Before Sunset on DVD
By Michael Weiss {Julie Delpy phunks with my heart.}

Sniffing The Exhalation of Their Own Herd: Bright Young Things
By Michael Weiss {Jazz Age espieglerie made live-action.}

In Vino Gravitas: Alexander Payne's Knockout New Film Sideways
By Michael Weiss {Worthy of the hype.}

Michael Moore and Fahrenheit 9/11
By Michael Weiss {He was more convincing as the suicide bomber in Team America.}


The Dirge Urge: The Arcade Fire's Funeral
By Nic Duquette {Melancholia and the finite sadness.}

Good Music for People Who Like Bad Music: the new Modest Mouse album is better than their old stuff, but it still sucks.
By Nic Duquette {Nic holds back.}

Nouvelle Vague: Putting the High-Concept Into "Concept Album"
By Nic Duquette {You get this album when you sign a lease in Williamsburg.}

Overweight: Polyphonic Spree's Together We're Heavy
By Nic Duquette {Hippies... Hippies all around me... Hippies everywhere.}

Good Egg: Wilco's A Ghost Is Born
By Nic Duquette {Remarkably unscrambled after the anxiety of follow-up to a legendary album.}

Taken for Lost, Gone and Unknown for a Long, Long Time: SMiLE and the resurrection of Brian Wilson
By Nic Duquette {And they haven't even started dying yet.}

The Face of Catholicism
By Orli Sharaby {The magic eye belongs to Jesus.}

Czechs and Balances: One Year After the EU Moved East
By Orli Sharaby {Mitteleuropa shrugs over continental integration.}

Shiny, Happy Praguers Clapping Hands
By Orli Sharaby {The latest (two-year-old) Prague fashions: Vaclav Havel brought back the "moist smudge moustache."}

The Prague Fall: Communism's Death Hasn't Stopped the Self-Inflicted Kind
By Orli Sharaby {The unbearable state of being.}

The Beverly Hills of the East: Plastic Surgery in Prague
By Orli Sharaby {From DiaMat to Nip/Tuck.}




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